May 31 2010
Tantrums are perfectly natural, and I am not talking about kids. It’s therapeutic. I believe throwing tantrums has actually slowed down my hair-loss.
Take a pillow to the bathroom, put your face on the pillow and let it out. Let it all out. There, there. There, now. Let it out.
May 28 2010
Hamza just came downstairs for the gazillionth time when he was supposed to be sleeping.
Me: “Why are you down now?”
Hamza: “I have many shadows and they are all doing different things”
Me: “Close your eyes and you won’t see them”
Hamza: “Do your shadows go away when you are in deep sleep?”
Sadly I couldn’t answer it considering I haven’t really slept since 2002. At least he’s no longer worried about an asteroid hitting the planet.
May 26 2010
Don’t spank your kids, but don’t feel guilty if you some times really want to.
There are two types of parents: those who at one point or another have really fought the urge to do some serious spanking and those who lie about having the urge to spank.
Do control the urge, spanking doesn’t work, but don’t feel guilty for thinking about it.
May 25 2010
Trying to maintain a clean house with a couple of kids is like trying to fight a full-grown Hippo with toothpicks. Not only you can’t win, you cannot even imagine it in your wildest dreams. Stressing over it will only accelerate your hair loss (exhibit A: <you cannot see it but I am pointing at my head>).
May 22 2010
Safiya: “Ouch, it hurts”
Me: “What happened?”
Safiya: “I accidentally bit my pinky toe”
How … umm … but … uh … never mind.
May 21 2010
Safiya, after seeing a commercial advertising glasses with frames for $75: “that commercial is so weird. $75 is sooooooo much money.” No wonder poor girl thinks she can buy Africa for $1,000. I wonder how she’s react when she learns the truth about money.
When my now-26-year-old brother was 4, he saw a baby.
My brother: “How much did the baby cost”
Baby’s mom, trying to be funny: “50 cents”
My brother: “50 cents for that dirty baby? What a rip-off!”
May 20 2010
Kids and I were singing O’ Canada. We stopped, but Ayaan continued: “O’ Candy-land …” At least he knows where his loyalties lie.
May 13 2010
Hamza: “Can we please get this DSi?”
Me: “Umm, it’s really expensive”
Hamza (yelling loudly): “Well, good thing we are rich”
Well I suppose if you think Africa costs $1,000 then we should be able to afford a Nintendo DSi with loose change.
May 12 2010
I am shaving Ayaan’s head tonight. Why? Here’s why:
Ayaan: “Do you have any hair?”
Me: “Ya, it’s right here”
Ayaan, laughing: “That’s not your hair. That’s your head. You only have head, no hair. You are not wearing any hair.”
He then points at his own head and says: “this is hair”.
It’s responsible parenting to shave his head now to teach him how to deal with less fortunate. Today he boasts with his hair, tomorrow he’ll try to buy Africa.
May 12 2010
Safiya: “I have $1000? Wow, I can buy Africa with that much money”
May 08 2010
Safiya: “Why is your shirt wet?”
Hamza: “I was washing my armpits and my shirt got wet”
Safiya: “With soap?”
Hamza: “Yes”
Safiya, nodding: “Good”
Umm … forget it. At least he washed his hands.
