… having to clean poo from your favourite antique rug (hand-knitted, vegetable colours, the whole 9-yard) or having to go hunting around the house for poop because your 2 year old decided to change himself after the accident.
Nov 24 2009
reason #31: will you marry me
As if it wasn’t bad enough that my 7 year old got two love notes last week. She got a marriage proposal yesterday! Must resist temptation to put fear of God in a 7 year old boy’s heart. Wife won’t let me give him a wedgie either! What’s a father to do????
Nov 23 2009
reason #30: punching & kicking
Saw Ayaan punching his sister.
Me: “Ayaan, what are you doing” – I hoping it was enough to indicate that I was watching, therefore he should stop.
Ayaan: “I am punching her cuz she turned the Wii off” – At this point, he kicks her. So much for me “watching”.
What the heck did my parents do to make me so terrified of them?????
Nov 18 2009
reason #29: gone now
Ayaan comes home with a small motorcycle.
Me: Ayaan, may I see it please?
Ayaan, looking around: You can see that car over there
Me: I want to see the motorcycle, I will give it back to you.
At this point Ayaan walks up to the couch, lifts the cushion, slides the motorcycle underneath, shows me his hands and says:
Ayaan: It’s gone now.
It’s official. My 2 year old thinks I am a moron.
I wonder if the fact that I played around and acted all shocked that he made the motorcycle disappeared right before my eyes had something to do with it.
Nov 12 2009
reason #28: broken
The conversation happened after Ayaan came back from his play-group thing.
Me: Ayaan, what did you do?
Ayaan: I ching a chong (translation: I sang a song)
Me: What song did you sing?
Ayaan: A. B. Chee. Tee.
Me: Can you sing it to me please?
Ayaan: No, I am poken (broken)
Me: Awww, how did you break?
Ayaan: I pell op the pike (I fell off the bike)
Me: Oh no, what happened
Ayaan: And I pleeded (bled)
Me: Oh no, how did you bleed?
Ayaan: I was triving (driving) at it and I pell op (fell off) and I pleeded (bled)
Me: How did you fall down?
Ayaan: Because I pell down
Me: Awww, how did you fall?
Ayaan: Because I was triving at it and I pell op and I pleeded.
Me: But how did you fall?
Ayaan (frustrated tone): Because I WAS TRIVING AT IT AN I PELL OP AND I PLEEDED AND I AM POKEN (broken)
Me: But….
Ayaan: I am not talking.
And he walks away.